We are not ashamed to say that we are very proud of our second video. We feel it tackles the hard hitting and roundtable issues we here at popdeath.com cry about every night. Also, doesn’t it just look awesome?
The answer, of course, is yes. It does.
There’s nothing we like more at PopDeath than issues. We have stacks of issues of– oh! Not that kind of issue, silly! We mean the down-to-business kind where people lose points and ruin lives.
One of our favorite issues is the federal prison system. We googled it right quick and found out that Obama said recently that “he would support ending mandatory minimum sentences for federal crimes, pointing to a 2004 statement at an NAACP-sponsored debate: “Mandatory minimums take too much discretion away from judges.” WTF?
So Obama wants Judges to love him. This is an issue. One of our friend’s dad is a judge, and Obama sent him a fruit basket full of the rarest, sweetest fruits. And every fruit was filled on the inside with many rolled-up $100 bills and some silver dollars. True story!*
*not a true story
We here at popdeath.com are, if nothing else, patriots. And if this great land wants a lady president, then God bless this great land, we will have a lady president.
And this shirt represents the freedom and love we here at popdeath.com feel for everyone, black or white, man or lady. Because, God bless it, like we proudly say above, it’s a free count– oh dear God.
OH DEAR GOD! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? WHA-? CRAP!!
Ladies and gentlemen, we at popdeath.com would like to apologize for what could only be described as the horrible, heinous error printed under the image above. A disgraceful, offensive typo of sin! And printed, no less, than under the blessed form of what could be the next leader of the free world.
MY HEAVENS WE ARE SORRY. Don’t look at it, children!
Nickel and Beta witness a very tasteless internet mash-up of Hilly Clinton, Barack Obama, and the new Indiana Jones. The creators of this video are gross– clearly out to score on hits and the political atmosphere. Being the pious champions of well made internet videos the two call Indy up at his house and demand he account for himself. Short Round, the bane of everyone’s existence, has other plans, and nothing goes down well in the end.
We were poor young people once, but that was a long time ago. A man we knew use to stop ’side the road that we sat and begged on and give us a half dollar just for our thoughts. We would tell him of the ups of the highways and the sideways of the down roads and the curves of the roller coaster that we called our lives. Upon hearin’ our stories he would rub his belly with both hands, throw back his head, and let out the biggest yelpin’ hooterin’ and hollarin’ you ever did hear. We would grin, you see, because we had just told him a fantastic tale that didn’t have a speck o’ truth to it– and he paid us near one dollar to do so.
That was a long time ago, and we’re rich folk these days. That’s why we’re voting for McCain.
Introducing Nickel-Five and Beta! Aren’t you just ever so excited?!
Hey all you independent ladies, we know you don’t know how to spell casserole, let alone how to make it. So instead of bringing home take-out thai again, impress the hell out of your deadbeat significant other with this delicious “No, I didn’t buy it from Zanzibar’s” recipe. Yes, you’re going to have to go out and buy a casserole dish.
What you need:
What you do:
So stop using your oven as extra storage for your three piece navy blue power suits and bake your man (or other lady) a delicious, pro-life, anti-suffrage, get-back-in-the-home-because-you’re-destroying-the-family-unit casserole. And afterwards, if you’re feeling especially old school, you can work solely towards his sexual pleasure and even let him smack you around a little.
But only after you’ve cleaned up the kitchen and ironed his shirt for the morning. There had better not be any creases on the sleeve again.
Luckily for you, part of the PopDeath handbook deals with some of those oh-so-tiresome moments we all inevitably experience during political season by laying out a couple helpful guidelines
For example:
Imagine the following commons scenario: You’re walking when suddenly someone says something to you vaguely political which clues you into their political standpoint. They want to talk about how right they are, so what do you do?
Step one: Look at them mournfully.
Step two: Don’t say anything.
Step three: Continue to look deep into their eye mournfully.
Step four: Refuse to say anything, despite how angry they become.
Step five: You win.
We @ PopDeath know, however, that steps 3-4 are a little difficult on your own– the pressure to respond and how hard you win increase in equal parts with every moment you remain silent. Can you tough it out? Most people can’t without a little back up, and thus the mournful eyes of Barack Obama on a T-Shirt…T-Shirt.
Can you imagine the mournful stare down you could conjure with this little guy tenderly and protectively nestling against your chest, eyes projecting like laser lights?
Problem solved.
You’re welcome.
